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I haven't been ignoring everybody on purpose. I've been sick these last three weeks with a cold that won't quit. I've also found out that I have to have my gallbladder removed and I have a hemangioma on my liver.  So there goes part of my summer.

How have I been passing my time? Doing a little writing, when I'm feeling well enough, as well as posting on Twitter, and watching SyFy's new corny Bronze Age series Olympus AND Tweeting with the cast, crew, and fans. They're such a fun bunch.  If you haven't been watching Olympus, you should.  It takes a lot of liberties with the Theseus myth (who doesn't take liberties with Theseus, you ask?) but I appreciate the effort that's gone into creating a Mycenaean-looking world, and once you get into the series it's a lot of fun.

Olympus

Daedalus the Builder here:

Somewhere in between flossing the Minotaur's teeth and building Queen Medea a nifty new spice rack, I somehow missed the first episode of SyFy's new series Olympus.  Not to worry, though.  Since I wasn't featured in Episode 1, you didn't miss anything much.

Now why is it that when you modern folk want to screw with Greek mythology, you always pick on Theseus?  Food for thought.  Anyhow, Olympus wins points from me just based on the fact that I can inhabit the Theseus story without having to listen to Theseus's bombastic bullshit.  I mean, how long can you listen to some pimply-faced, steroid-juiced eighteen year old ramble on about he invented Linear B and the Corinthian Games and shit?

To judge from the little time I've spent with this teenaged blockhead, Ariadne's going to have no problem knitting circles around him.

On the other hand: Aethra, you named your kid "Mercenary?"  Were you smoking some of Helen's A-grade Egyptian smack at the time?  Because that's a seriously potent substance we're talking about.  Just ask Menelaus.

For the sake of you moderns out there who feel outraged by the lack of mythological continuity, I will henceforth refer to Mercenary as Not-Theseus.

We begin in a rather kinky vein as Xerxes subjects Not-Theseus to the weirdest bondage and blood-play this side of Nineveh (trust me, those talented Assyrians can flay you alive and make you enjoy it).  Word to our girl Oracle: if you're going to pick up a sword and try to hack your way to a rescue, make sure you're more of a Clytemnestra or a Medea, and not so much an Iphigenia.

Speaking of Medea, raaawwwr, girl!  Those long, dark ringlets, those sultry moves, those nasty potions.  If I was thirty years younger and didn't need my heart pills....

Lykos, you may want to look out.  When your mom's not happy, she tends to take it out on the kids.  What, she never told you about the nasty divorce from Jason?  Glad to hear you found a soul mate in Kimon, but if you honestly think he spent eight years in scribal school to take down your shopping list in Linear B, you're making moogly eyes in vain.

Can I, as a born Athenian, just mention here that King Aegeus and his generals are the biggest idiots to ever call themselves Athenians?  One shouldn't even mention Aegeus, Pallas, Proteus, etc. in the same sentence, that's how enormous an embarrassment they are to Athens.  An offensive assault on King Minos's shock troops?  No wonder Medea is fed up with her husband.  Hey, guys, have you ever opened your eyes and looked at the Acropolis rock?  Minos's meatheads will be body-slamming themselves against that for years if you let them.

The lack of bullshittery from Aegeus, of course, leaves more room for me, and this series is nothing without my brilliant self.  Thank goodess Oracle and Not-Theseus found me when they did, because they're on the dumbest quest ever.  What is it with the immortals leaving important artifacts all over the place for stupid mortals to tamper with?  And by dumb mortals, I mean Not-Theseus, his sperm donor dad, and the knuckleheads I mentioned above.  I, naturally, am a responsible if slightly dodgy mad scientist and inventor, and Apollo lord of light and wisdom, healing, alternative music, and those scantily clad Muses completely endorses this message.

But let me stop here and tell you something about Icarus.  He always was an odd kid.  Got it from his mother, I think.

You should also know that the forest of Troezen isn't as big or palm tree tidy as they show you in the brochures.  Troezen is ruled by spunky old King Pittheus--think King Nestor without all the monotonous speechifying--and looks like THIS:

troezen
What's the Lexicon, again?  Who cares?  It's Latin.  Although... If it's a Roman cookbook containing the recipe for some fabulous garum, then I'm all in.

Oh, and Medea, dear, I wouldn't mind it at all if you did that hot marionette thing with me, only late at night in my bedchamber, and she doesn't have to be wearing anything.

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